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Forbidden inspiration...

Here I am standing dressed in a black jacket in the middle of a field at dusk and the fog is already enveloping me from all directions, this is a dark period of my life. Without thoughts, without loves, without touch and without harm, there is no muse and no inspiration, I must continue forward and maybe I fall again, I have already stood between the city of the dead and the city of life many times. And how many times have I accepted the role of the boatman, see myself standing on a tall building and want to jump and fly like a bird even with that for a short time, want to close my eyes and not wake up at all, I have many talents but they don't have the support, most of the day I prefer to be under the blanket It's going to be a different and strange book, like in my life without unrequited love ... without hope or expectation, it's going to be something dark and maybe funny. But something that is not clear at all, as strange as this period, which is a misunderstanding with a feeling of emptiness, joy mixed with indifference, despair combined with sadness, anger and ridiculousness. It's going to be something else, something unclean, inconsiderate, without emotion, darker, sweatier, and smellier, without any rules or restrictions, and for the record I say: "This is the way I have left, to cope, and just so you know that I don't smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol, no Approaching drugs, it's only the underwear that clicks."

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